Have you ever had the overwhelming urge to burst into a full-on evil laugh. I mean MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA with pinky out Dr. Evil Style and everything. I just did. Sitting in accounting randomly typing out notes about pizza ovens and cash flows. And BOOM! I'm fighting back giddy giggles that threaten to make my class think I am completely insane. Wow.  Don't know why, don't know how. Just happened. Evil laughter, what an addictive thing.

Poll #1383375 Heartbreak
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 1

Does Heartbreak Ever End?

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No.
1 (100.0%)

Not that I know of.
0 (0.0%)

Yes.
0 (0.0%)

Not for a long time.
0 (0.0%)

Tired of hurtin inside. Tired of crying all alone in my room. Tired of being tired. I was listening to a song by the wreckers this morning on my way to the HESA meeting. "Take your love and hit the road." I couldn't help but sing along. Its the only thing I really feel like is that song. Describes it perfect yet. I'm just tired of being made to feel guilty about things I shouldn't ever have to in the first place.... I mean I'm not perfect... who is? It just hurts I guess. But I suppose I'm getting used to that ache in my chest. Guess it will always be there. Never changing, always throbbing.

This is my prayer Lord God.
Bring me back to you.
I love you,
I need you, The world has broken and changed me.
It has soiled me beyond purity.
I let you down Lord.
I'm sorry.
Lust and love tried to keep company.
Love fled without your presence Lord.
It replaced itself with loathing and despair.
I hurt constantly without you Lord. I am lost.
I need your loving presence in my heart and life.
I hide from all those around me,
Knowing as I do so, that they still see me,
The hurt, the lies, the betrayal,
They see me better than I do.
You see my everything Lord.
But more than that, you see past my everything,
You love me despite my soiled garments,
You hold me close despite my broken and withered heart,
You protect me from this world even when I let go of You,
You love me despite everything,
You love me more, better, and greater than anyone can,
You love me, despite me.

-Villa

3-31-09

Can anything be so tedious as love?
The quiet tuition of knowing something is wrong,
Then having to fix it.
The indulgence of the other,
Putting them before yourself,
Giving up all the things you love best,
Being hurt when they don't,
Tedious.
Love is work,
There is no rest for those who love,
Only another problem on the horizon,
Another two-o'clock meeting of minds,
A suggestive glance and a breaking-heart.
To be in love is to be in a constant state of heartbreak,
To never feel full, never feel whole.
It is to be loving, to be forgiving,
Don't confuse me,
Love is not to be loved or forgiven,
Expect change.
Love is ever-changing.
It changes to whatever the user needs it to be.
Love is a friend,
A lover,
A comforting hug,
Love is a kind gesture.
Love is a chameleon.
Ever changing,
Love becomes hate if need be,
Love comes in many forms,
In letting go of a miserable companion,
Love is indeed a two sided coin,
A feeling to make you soar above the clouds,
A hurt to shatter and break your innermost soul.
Love loves,
Love hates.
Love is the wide-open prairie,
Love is a two foot cage.
Impossible not to find,
Impossible to escape.
Love is whatever it needs to be to survive.
Love is both predator, and prey.
It hunts and devours,

It runs and it cowers.

-Villa

3-31-09

Some books I read awhile back, that I really thought never got enough recognition was The Blue Sword and The Hero and the Crown both by Robin McKinney. I loved these books!
I read them over and over. I would suggest reading The Hero and The Crown first thought. I is set in time before The Blue Sword and is a little easier to get into.

The Blue Sword is my favorite of the two, the story is just wonderful, and unique, of course! It is hard to wade through the first couple of chapters but after that it really takes off! I'm sorry I am using so many exclamation marks but I just cannot resist them when it comes to these books. They are great great great and should be enjoyed by all.

Both books feature a strong, prominent female lead character. The focus of The Hero and the Crown is the spicey red-haired Aeran(sp? its been awhile) who is the daughter of the king and his so called witch-wife. She befriends the king's old injured steed and creates a fire-proofing balm and becomes a dragon slayer. (Most dragos of this book are small and stupid animals not the amazing creatures of Christpher Paolini's Inheritance Series) She ends of taking on a dragon as big as a mountain. Ends up slaying it, a mage finds her and helps her. Then she takes on an old sorcerer and travels back in time it seems, she wins against him, then goes back to the castle and marries Tor. A wonderful story, really, my explaination has given it no merit. You just have to read it for yourself.

The Blue Sword is my favorite of the two. It is about Harimad, Harry, Hari, or Harimad-sol. Just whichever you like. =) She is a common girl fresh to Daria from the motherland. She is housing with a nice older couple and is scorched by the Hill-Kings eyes when he comes to visit to ask for help from the Outlander's forces. He is rejected and leaves that day with his men. He comes back that night and kidnaps Harry because his (we'll call them powers) told him too. So she lives with his camp, she is treated honorably. They teach her to ride their horses with no bridles and stirrups. She then goes into the hills with Mathin, her tutor and learns the sword and learns about the plants of the land. When finished they meet with the others at an encampment on a field. Harry then rides in a tournament where she beats all in sword and horsemanship except the king. She becomes a kings rider, and rides out to war with them. She is sure a large force will come from another way (her power showed her) but her king will not listen. She leaves and is followed by two friends, together they go back to the town she was stolen from and to one of the friend's village and gather some people together. Harry is right and defeats the leader with her power, in fact she burries the whole other army under a mountain. She then precedes to marry the king once she goes back.

Lovely book, I would recommend it to anyone who asked, just remember, it is a little hard to get into at first! Great book though. It takes off really good after the kidnapping!

Read them. Enjoy them.

-Via!-

And so I type.

I am staring at a board full of numbers.
I am listening to a monotone voice.
I am watching someone write problems on the board.
I am copying the problems down.

I am not comprehending anything.
I am learning absolutely nothing.
I am paying to sit here and type.

Great.

And so I type.

-Viavilla-

I love you Derek.

I love you too.


And at the end of the day, that is all that really matters.

-Via-

Via Villa! 
Good day my lovelies. Today is a day of blue skies and twittering birds.
I will ride my motorcycle today I hope.
I will find that walking path every one talks about around the lake and maybe go for a stroll. 
My ankle is sore as Derek popped it last night.
It hurts a little too stroll, so maybe not too long of a stroll.
I will study for midterms! My how they approach, I have about 4 this week I guess.
I will work on the Sisters Xylia! Even if it is only editing my rough scrawl.
I will put on makeup and make myself feel a little pretty.
I will put on a pair of shorts and soak in a little Vitamin D!
I will make chicken alfredo and find a way to work some veggies in for my own well being!
I will update my website. Maybe with a blog of this exact post.
Maybe not.

Via Villa!